Think of five children you know. Unfortunately, one of them is being cyberbullied or knows a cyberbully. That's the everyday reality, according to a recent report which found 19% of 10- to 15-year-olds in the UK experience online bullying. It's a major problem. And it's become worse since the pandemic, with everyone spending even more time online. Cyberbullying can be very bad for someone's mental health. With bullying, the person being bullied gets a break from it when they get home however with cyberbullying it's constant with text messages and harassment which doesn't go away when you get home where you feel safe.

So, what can we as parents do about the cyberbullying of our children?

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What are the signs of cyber bullying?

Look out for changes in their usual behaviour. Online trolling hurts children by damaging their sense of safety, joy and trust in others. They may respond by:

• Seeming more anxious than usual.
• Feeling upset and being sad or angry for no reason.
• Withdrawing from the family, maybe shutting themselves away in their bedroom.
• Avoiding school or stopping seeing their friends.
• Showing an unexpected decline in their schoolwork.
• Losing interest in activities they used to enjoy.
• Having difficulty sleeping.
• Obsessing about being online, wanting to check messages all the time and showing stress when they can't.

Of course, the intensity will vary from child to child. But if you spot any changes like these, there's a strong possibility that online trolling affects that young person's self-esteem and mental health.

What are the emotional effects of cyberbullying?

A child who has a strong connection with their family may reach out to an adult for support and guidance, but the effects can be even more devastating if they can't find emotional support at home or in school. Sometimes a child may not even know who is bullying them if the bully has made fake accounts.

This can worsen the long-term consequences of being bullied, including chronic depression, substance abuse, self-harm and suicidal thoughts. That's how serious things can get.

How to protect yourself from online harassment?

Anyone bullied, online or offline, tends to close off. That's why experts like Dr Ben-Ari recommend a particular approach known as "safe conversation". This means speaking to them without judgment or strong emotions, which could cause them to close off even more.

• Initiate a conversation while you're busy with another activity, such as walking or driving, so they don't need to maintain eye contact.
• Avoid blaming or shaming.
• Give them lots of time and space to talk about what's happening in their way.
• Explore what can be done to solve the problem together.

If the bullying has any connection with the school, the teachers and managers need to know about it to tackle the situation. If it has nothing to do with the school, they still need to understand why the child may be behaving differently.

Ways someone could be cyber bullied:

• Sending abusive texts
• Threatening online
• Posting photos/videos about someone
• Messaging someone under a fake name
• Continual ’prank’ calls
• Excluding someone from an online activity
• Trolling

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Conclusion:

Many tools can help you monitor children's use of devices, put time limits on their browsing or prevent them from accessing the wrong apps and websites. Do a web search for "parental control software", and you can explore the options and choose the most suitable one. Names to check include NetNanny, Kaspersky, Circle Home Plus, Questodio, Bark, Boomerang, Family Time and Google Family Link. The next generation will spend a lot of time online, so let's make sure they feel safe and happy while exploring cyberspace.